Maureen, you were such a beautiful soul. And more precious to me than I could have ever described. I deeply regret that I didn't try more often than I did anyway. You came into my life when I was all but totally broken, and the power of your smile alone helped me to put myself back together again. And you had similar effects for so many others. You touched so many lives, brightened so many people's days just by being yourself. Your loss is not just mine.

Your life was so difficult, full of so many challenges I can't even begin to understand, yet through it all you maintained a child-like sense of curiosity for new things, and a truly whimsical spirit that was through and through unique, and uniquely valuable, even if you couldn't see it that way yourself. Your patience , understanding, and compassion for people despite often having wildly conflicting worldviews was remarkable. Your commitment to updating and questioning your own beliefs and admitting when you were wrong (which wasn't often but definitely happened) was also admirable, and something everyone could learn from. Despite being several years your senior, and having advanced degrees, I found myself learning from you easily as often as you learned from me, a concept you laughed at when I told you once, but I meant it earnestly.

I also meant it when I told you my love for you had no conditions, and it still doesn't. If you were here you'd be furious with the idea of me feeling like I failed you, but you'll just have to forgive me for that for the time being. I am utterly crushed by your death, but I need you to know that for my part, I forgive you completely. You suffered enough in life. I only hope and pray that you are someplace without pain, catching fireflies with your real father... a memory from your childhood that you shared with me more than once as being one of the happiest moments of your life.

The background photo I chose for this site is a meadow full of fireflies, taken in Pennsylvania, which is where you were with your dad as a child before your family was split apart by what was to be a long sequence of drama, far too complicated for a seven year old to understand or have to endure. Please don't wallow in remorse for what happened, as I know you would be doing if you were here. Return to 'the Source' as we used to say about the afterlife - live the childhood you never got to have, and heal, and maybe by the time I get there we can live out the vision we both had for our future, with our pains and sorrows no longer haunting us.

I love you, Kitty. I am, and always will be your Goof.